Life really does have a knack for throwing us things that we don’t want and we don’t need. One moment everything’s fine and the next everything is a whirlwind of stress. When life feels like this, it can be very difficult to know when the last time you were able to relax. Relaxation doesn’t come easy for a lot of people, but there are some ways that you can cultivate that sense of ease that you’re looking for. Learning how to calm your mind takes some time.
Unfortunately, there is no magical quick fix and there is no magical soothe for stress. It’s not easy to eliminate stress from your life, and it’s actually pretty impossible to do that completely. When was the last time you felt really stressed? Maybe when your career felt like it was going on in Nosedive or you had to go to dinner with your in-laws. Let’s be honest, that’s stressful for everybody.
Stressful symptoms come pouring out of you whenever you feel that level of stress, from a racing heart to a mind that won’t slow down. Some people like to calm down with the help of sudoku or crossword puzzles because it helps them to displace the stress in their mind and channel it into something else. Others like to go to a boxing ring or a karate Dojo and punch out the stress that they can. Whenever you face a stressor, your brain is going to tell you that you can fight, flight or freeze and it’s going to kick your nervous system into gear. You need to be able to find your calm in any way possible. We’ve got some cheats to help you to do just that.
(1) Start by breathing into it. Breathing exercises are more powerful than you think they are when it comes to calming down the mind. Paying attention to your breath is your anchor. Keeping your mind focused on one thing is what’s going to help you to immediately calm down, rather than trying to focus on all the noise at once. You can practice breathing into your calm by noticing the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. Inhaling for four seconds, holding for seven, and exhaling for 8 seconds is a great way to slow down the brain and calm your nervous system. Some people feel that breathing exercises are a crock. They think that we’re breathing all the time anyway. But the thing is, when you’re stressed, you hold your breath more than you think you do. Holding that breath in is what’s going to make your mind feel more out of control than anything else.
(2) Have some self compassion. When you go through a stressful situation in life, it’s really easy to beat yourself up. It’s easy to put yourself down and tell yourself that you’re not worthy, or even tell yourself that you are rubbish at whatever it is that you’re doing. When was the last time you remembered that you are a human being and not a machine? If you had a friend come to you with stress and they were all over the place, would you meet them with disdain and loathing, or would you give them kindness and compassion? If you’re able to give your friend that kind of kindness, why can’t you meet yourself with that kindness too? Beating yourself up in a stressful situation amplifies your stress, and you don’t need to go through that if you don’t have to. Self compassion helps to give you that emotional buffer that you need and reduces the impact of stress on your mind.
(3) Connect with yourself and others. You know that humans are social creatures. We do very well when we’re alone, and we empower ourselves to be comfortable in our own self. But sometimes you need to be able to surround yourself with others to find that meaningful connection that you need. We thrive on connection. We build strong relationships. We look for support where we can find it and that support acts as a big safety net against stress. You don’t have to surround yourself with people all the time, and there are some people that respond to stress with isolation so that they can get through it themselves first before trying to inflict any pain or anything on other people. The thing is, internalizing all of your stress like that isn’t about getting through it on your own. And when you lean on your friends, you’re not going to be inflicting pain on them or anybody. What you need to be doing is learning how you can lean on others to remain connected and help you to dismantle that stress with the help of other people. It’s OK to turn to your friends in times of stress.
(4) Extend compassion toward others. Did you know that extending out compassion actually helps to boost your own emotional well-being? Having that sense of purpose and alleviating those symptoms and feelings of stress comes with opportunities to be kind to others. It can be something as simple as holding the door open for a stranger or volunteering for a cause that you believe in. You want to start small and feel about those compassionate acts and how they ripple outwards. Relaxing your mind can help you to enhance your calm, but being compassionate towards other people is how you can really help to calm down because you are able to project to others and in turn help them with their problems.
(5) Learn to meditate. Even short sessions can help you to meditate, and regular meditation will help to reduce stress and relax your mind. You can start with five minutes every day and increase the duration if it starts to help. Focusing on your breathing and the sounds around you, or taking yourself somewhere like the beach or the park to sit and meditate can help. It’s a great way to find your calm quickly too, because you’ll be able to slow down your breathing and just pay attention to your surroundings for a change, which is not easy to do when your mind is in chaos.
(6) Talk it out. If you’re not a fan of talking it out, you can always write it down, but expressing your thoughts and your feelings can be really therapeutic. Sitting down with a trusted friend and a good cup of coffee can help you to bash out all of the feelings and make you feel lighter in return. Even if your friend just listens and doesn’t offer any solutions, sometimes that can be all that you need. You need a way to process your emotions and gain some perspective, and talking it out or writing it in the journal can help with this.
(7) Your body. A good way to find your calm is to get moving. Go for a power walk or take a hike up a mountain with the view of seeing the sunset at the top. You need to get your body moving to bust out some of that stressful adrenaline that’s building up. Moving your body is a great way to find your calm because you’ll be able to dissipate all of that tension, all of that adrenaline and all of that pain and feel more peaceful in yourself as a result. It’s why people go to the gym or go running, because they know that while it’s going to hurt as they do it, it’s going to feel good at the end.
Feeling calm within your body takes some time, but these cheats can help you to get there faster.
