It’s week 2 of the X Factor and I settled down in front of the TV with another bottle of wine to watch the latest group of X Factor contestants trotted out for our viewing pleasure. (Well there’s nothing else on!)
Saturday’s show started off with a young man called Ten who was only put through after getting a ticking off for turning up without having slept the night before and for not taking X Factor seriously. (Now, that’s bad!)
We were then treated to a whole bunch of weirdos, one after the other, the most notable being a young woman who was dressed up as a queen, complete with crown. She really was quite peculiar, with a voice that sounded worse than chalk on a blackboard. There was zero chance of her going anywhere in the competition but I suppose it’s kinda funny isn’t it? You know, she’s dressed as a queen, she can’t sing – I’m on the floor here.
However, I will admit that things did look up after that. Because Saturday night was definitely the night for young solo male artists. They just kept coming, they were mostly very easy on the eye and every single one of them was put through by the judges. We had Charlie Martinez who sang an Enrique Igelsias song and who I thought looked a bit like Enrique himself – never a bad thing in my book. We had Ben Heynow who also was a fine young thing and who sounded great and quite a few others all sounding and looking really good.
We had the latest attempt at recreating Jedward (we get this every year) – the Brooks twins. This was quite a good attempt. They are identical twins and they look quite cute, but as we all know there is only one Jedward. They were put through.
There weren’t that many girls auditioning on Saturday but I noticed that the ones who were all seemed to come from the wrong part of town. One in particular, Monica, who had got mixed up with a bad crowd, sang a song for her sister, reducing Cheryl to tears. (put away that onion, Cheryl)
Moving on to Sunday night (yes, I do have to…)
Sunday got off to a slow start, I thought, with a whole bunch of auditionees who were all very good and got put through, but who weren’t very memorable. But not to worry, because after that there followed a whole group of losers for us to laugh at. We had Starlight who walked off and then came back for another go. Where were security at this point, I would like to know. Then we had Raign (Who?) a very batty young lady who was very full of herself and managed to get put through after a second go at auditioning. I think she would be good if she got as far as the live shows – she might cause trouble.
Another auditionee who stands out in my mind is Michael Rice who works in a chip shop. We were told this several times and Michael was quizzed about his job before he started singing. He turned out to be very talented and Louis Walsh expressed great surprise at this. (subtext – you work in a chip shop. You should be a complete waster)
The night ended with a guy named Jake who was returning for a second time. The whole thing descended in to a tear fest when the story of how he lost his brother came out. Everyone agreed he was one to watch, though I think he should watch Mel B. The cougar’s claws were fully stretched!