Ok, I know I was excited. I know I made out the only thing anyone should be doing on a weekend night between now and Nov was watch the X Factor. But then as I sat down eagerly on Sat night in front of the TV with a bottle of wine and a box of Pringles, something happened.
I realised I’d seen it all before.
There was the 2 hyperactive sisters who are incredibly annoying. Hmmmm, alright they’re female, but why did I feel they were supposed to be a new version of Jedward? Except, Jedward were just being themselves when they appeared back in 2009. These girls were annoying alright, only because it was blatantly obvious they were putting it on.
There was a young Irish lad who was in love with Cheryl and of course sang a love song directly in to her face. Yawn, that happens every year.
Then we had a girl auditioning who had appeared on the show last year but didn’t make it to the live shows. She was of course bloody amazing and made everyone cry. I predicted that this would happen before she started singing.
And then we had the wierdos – bunched together – so we kinda knew what to expect. There was one who was incredibly boring who just kept singing and wouldn’t leave. Guess what? I didn’t find this entertaining either. I wanted them to go more than the judges did.
There were 1 or 2 stand outs. A very stylish girl who sang a jazzy classy type of song and an army officer who had a very distinctive voice. But apart from them, I felt there was a distinct lack of talent.
Moving on to Sunday night.
Why was everybody auditioning so gloomy and lacking in personality? Cue, a real nice guy turns up and makes the judges laugh. The guy just bowled them over with his happy personality and they all put him through even though he didn’t bother to learn the lines of his song. But I guess that’s what it’s all about. Having a happy smile on your face. Nothing to do with being a talented performer at all.
We had a few of the ones who think they can sing but can’t and they’re always hilarious.(well, the first 1 or 2 are anyway)
Then there was the Susan Boyle effect. A guy comes out, looks and acts a bit strange. We’re all supposed to think, here we go another one to laugh our socks off at. But I’m wise to this one. In this guy’s case, the fact that he was odd was being laid on thick. – he had a Mel B doll, his clothes were childish. Another indicator that he wasn’t just another fool was that there was a big long clip about him before he arrived in the audition room. Again, I guessed he was going to be a belter and low and behold he launched in to a very accomplished version of ‘Who’s Loving You’ by Michael Jackson.
Finally, we had the girl who knew Simon Cowell, was once in one of his bands, had fallen on hard times and subsequently was here to audition for X Factor. This made for cringey viewing as they refused to put her through. Though my husband thought maybe she was being paid to appear……Some people are awful cynics!
Catch up next week for more caustic X Factor observations.
