MAXIMUS by *HH is THE essential fragrance for the modern sandal and toga wearing citizen seeking to make a statement this Summer.
Revitalise your essence immediately with the authentic alluring Roman elixir of youth, strength and passion.
Exude power and confidence with a bold and powerful oil-based fragrance steeped in history.
Stand out in the crowd as the robust and distinct aroma announces your presence. When people ask, just tell them,
“It’s MAXIMUS by HH.”
“I wanted to gift the people of Rome something that embodies the strength and fetor of my courageous gladiators. Not only will MAXIMUS by HH challenge the senses and transform your ageing skin, but the superior essence will also transport you right into the gladiatorial arena itself. Whether you’re at work or at play, with MAXIMUS by HH you too will feel as fearsome and ferocious as those contenders whose scent you wear.”
Emperor Nero (37-68 AD)
IT IS OUR PLEASURE TO OFFER YOU THIS EXCLUSIVE SAMPLE OF MAXIMUS BY HH.
(No returns)
The Tradition of MAXIMUS by HH
Scraped distilled from the brawny, strapping (and sometimes dead) bodies of Rome’s most glorious Gladiators and bottled in delicate flacons, MAXIMUS by HH contains C% highly concentrated natural ingredients rich in vitality and the height of luxury.
HINTS OF…
- Sandal Leather
- Olive Oil
- Organic Linen
- That Last Meal
- Fear and Adrenaline
- Maybe a Bit of Blood. (Actually, very likely)
HOW TO USE
Apply AM, Noon, PM and Midnight.
Hold your breath and apply liberally to your face. For best results really drench it. Close your eyes and be transported back to the gory glory of Rome.
BENEFITS
– Achieve a Significantly Younger, Renewed Look
– Guaranteed to Get Everyone’s Attention
– Ultimate Luxury Care for Lines and Wrinkles
– Refined Unisex Fragrance
– All Natural Ingredients
– Not Tested on Animals
– Sourced Locally. If You Live Near An Arena
CONSIDERATIONS
- Youth-restoring and Libidinous Properties Not Guaranteed.
- Fragrance intensity May Vary Per Bottle.
- Keep away from children.
- Avoid ingestion.
Here’s what some of our customers are saying about MAXIMUS by HH.
“Mee-Ow! MAXIMUS by HH is animal magnetism in a bottle.” Jean Paul Fartier
“People totally die for this stuff. What’s wrong with that?” Dita Von Wees
“I love MAXIMUS by HH. It’s expensive and I’m worth it.” Victorious Beckham
“What’s that god-awful smell? It’s MAXIMUS by HH is what it is.” Jimmy Poo
*Proper pronunciation of HH is, “Ash Ash,” not, “Aych Aych,” and certainly not, “Haytch Haytch.”
See Horrible Histories Movie for stockists.
HORRIBLE HISTORIES: THE MOVIE – ROTTEN ROMANS IS RELEASED IN UK AND IRISH CINEMAS ON 26 JULY
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