Yes, it’s that time of the week again. There been another X Factor show, another elimination.
I’m sure you’ll all be sorry to hear that I haven’t been feeling well this week. I’m suffering form a very serious condition known as X Factor fatigue syndrome. The symptoms are: irrational anger, uncontrollable twitching all over and the inability to see the good in anything. So I hope you’ll all forgive me if I am particularly vitriolic and overtly critical about this week’s show.
It was Queen V Michael Jackson songs this week and Paul Akister was up first – a performer (and I use the word loosely) who is guaranteed to take the joy out of any song – That is of course why they gave him the Queen classic, ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ to sing. A song that needs to be delivered with passion and charisma – but which Paul managed to make boring.
Jay James rendition of ‘The Show Must Go On’. was another boring and dreary performance. Freddie Mercury must be turning in his grave!
Lauren Platt, who I think is too mediocre to become a star gave us a rather bland version of “I’ll Be There”.
Only the Young, who’s ridiculously bright attire woke me up just as I was nodding off, did their usual dancing around like the muppets on speed. The thing is, though that they’re fun. So that’s ok. (According to Louis Walsh anyway)
Ben Haenow, who as least is very easy on the eye, came and sang “Man in the Mirror”. I didn’t like the big choir and where was his leather trousers from last week?
Stevi Ritchie, whose performances get more bizarre every week did some sort of strange version of “Boheminan Rapsody” – I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see his face 4 times at the beginning (copying the Queen original). And though he did put plenty of effort in, it was like watching Karaoke at Butlins.
Another contestant who reminds me of Karaoke is Fleur East. The words ‘cruise ship’ and ‘a year’s time’ spring to mind.
We had a bit of an incident during Stereokicks’ performance. As they all sat on their stools like a mutated version of West Life, singing “You Are Not Alone”, it turned they weren’t alone. An intruder from the audience had joined them on stage. As some one remarked, it was amazing they realised as there is so many of them in the group, they probably barely know each other. Anyway, all was well. They carried on bravely while the person in question was man-handled off the stage. Some were saying this was the highlight of the night – but I disagree. It happens every year – boring!
The night concluded with Andrea Faustini. OK, I can’t take that he can sing away from him, but I think it’s a slight exaggeration to say everybody loves him and I mean everyone, according to Simon Cowell, from Landsend to John O’ Groats. They must think he is going to win and that is why they are drumming up hype.
Paul Akister got axed this week which was widely predicted. What can I say – boring!